Courtship and Marriage

Good afternoon, Ladies! This is Mary from The Young Lady’s Journal. Today’s topic is kind of a hard one to tackle considering the world’s ideas concerning it, but I’ll give it my best shot.

According to the Church, there are four (4) stages of courtship. The first is friendship. You should know each other and be able to discern whether the other is a virtuous and honorable person. There should be no consideration of dating if one or the other rushes in too fast, especially physically.

“Love at first sight” is not a thing. There is only lust at first sight. Physical attraction is not enough on which to base a relationship. It’s important to remember that the purpose of courtship is to marry. You shouldn’t even date them if you can’t possibly see yourself happily married to them someday, beyond the physical aspects of marriage.

It’s the man’s job to preserve and defend your honor and virtue. You should avoid being alone together, not because you will do anything, but because people assume you will. And if people assume you will, your honor is at stake. People will view you as a woman of little virtue, whether true or not.

I understand that people’s perception of you may not matter, but if your boyfriend allows others to see you that way, true or not, he’s failed to defend your honor.

The second stage is the actual courtship. If you have a father or a father figure, he should ask his permission to date or court you before he even asks you. He should have a pretty good idea that you will accept. The reason this is important is because your father is responsible for defending and protecting your honor until your marriage. If your father doesn’t view the young man as a man of honor, he has every right to say no to him. I’m not saying your father is always right, but he genuinely wants what is best for you, and if he doesn’t think this man will be good for you, that should be respected. Your father is responsible for the protection of your honor until the day you’re married, then he transfers the responsibility to your husband.

The third stage is the engagement or betrothal. A young man should ask a young woman’s father for her hand. He should be fairly certain that she will say “Yes,” at this point. Once a woman says “Yes,” it should be brought to the pastor. Before marriage, one must be cautious with physical affection. It is acceptable, but you don’t want to lose your dignity. If he’s not working to keep your image honorable, he himself doesn’t have totally honorable intentions toward you. You’re close to marriage, but this is no excuse to allow yourself to slip. You can’t afford it if you want a good married relationship.

The fourth stage of courtship is marriage. Many wouldn’t consider this as a stage of “courtship”, but it absolutely is. It’s still your relationship with one person of the opposite sex, whether your honor is fully his responsibility or your father’s. Once married, a woman has to be willing to submit to the decisions of her husband. This is not to say he owns her, but he is the leader of the team. The man is the head, the woman is the heart. It’s always been that way, and it naturally always will be. We can’t rewrite what God has already written in our nature.

If you don’t want a domineering or immature husband, don’t date a guy who’s not willing to defend your purity.

I’m sorry if this seemed a little rigid or old-fashioned, I’m just stating what my priests have made clear to me.

Good afternoon, and I’ll see you all next time at the Young Lady’s Journal!

Exciting News!

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! To start off, I wanted to apologize for not having anything up on the blog lately. Not only have I been incredibly busy with all sorts of musical and professional endeavors, but I was also just feeling really burned out, and I just couldn’t come up with new ideas as to what to write. I do have another article on the backburner that I’m hoping to have up within a week or two, and then hopefully my writer’s block will be cured. In any case, that’s not the exciting news that the title promised. The actual news is actually twofold, and both parts of it are directly related. The first part is that a new series will be starting in the blog! The second is that this new series will actually be written by a new admin! This new series, known as “The Young Lady’s Journal”, will be written by our new admin, Mary Drewsen. If you’d like to know more about her, she introduces herself here on her own blog. I’ve noticed that I lot of people are in fact young women, so I thought why not introduce content that appeals to them as well? I will of course continue to put out all my regular content, that’s not going anywhere, I just thought complementary content would be a good direction to take this blog. So be sure to check out Mary’s blog since she’ll likely be putting out content of her own before too long, and be sure to keep an eye out for her first article as part of the Young Lady’s Journal!

Love Cannot be Forced

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I’d take a stab at something that I personally have been struggling with lately. Also, I feel like this is something that’s important for any up-and-coming gentleman to hear, whether they’re just getting into the dating scene or have been involved in it for ten years, or even more. The most important thing to remember about love and dating is this: it cannot be forced, it has to happen naturally. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Of course, whenever you’re looking to date somebody, it’s important to be upfront with them about your intentions and what you’re looking for out of your interaction, I’m not denying that. What I mean when I say that love can’t be forced is that it’s important to realize that wanting to be romantic with someone after just meeting them will, more often than not, just end with nothing but heartbreak, likely on both sides. A relationship needs to develop naturally over time. You won’t just meet someone and then instantly enter into a relationship with them; that’s just not how it works. Of course, that’s not to say that you might instantly click with someone or experience love at first sight, because I am a firm believer that those two things can happen. But even in those cases, it’s important that you spend more time with that certain lady. It simply allows for the two of you to develop a more genuine connection. And with all that in mind, this actually leads very nicely into my next point.

On top of being patient and letting a relationship develop naturally over time, another important thing to keep in mind is that it might not be the best idea to be actively seeking out a relationship. Just like letting the relationship develop naturally over time, it is better most of the time for the way you meet to be very organic as well. It could be something like meeting a girl who you share a class with, meeting a girl through work, or maybe meeting her through a church activity. There’s a variety of ways that this can happen. Just so you don’t misunderstand me, while it is important to not actively seek out a relationship, it’s also just as important to just be open to the possibility of one happening. All it takes is some common sense as well as a decent ability to pick up signals (something that I admittedly need to improve about myself).

So there it is! Hopefully this article was able to help any of you gents reading who may be having some trouble in you love lives. It’s certainly something that has opened my eyes and completely change my perspective on dating in general. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!