More Lessons From my Grandfather

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! The inspiration for today’s article is actually twofold. The first is that it’s been almost a year since my grandfather passed away. Those of you who know me personally may already know this, but I never really made that big of a deal out of it since I was simply at a loss for words after it happened. Since the passage of time after it happened, however, I feel like it would be a good time to put out yet another tribute to a man who has inspired not only myself, but virtually everybody he came across. The second is this article that my sister wrote as a tribute to my grandfather shortly after he passed. If you want to get a better sense of what I’m going to say in this article, I would highly recommend reading hers first. So without any further delay, let’s see what my grandfather can teach ny of you young gents!

1. Loving what you do

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Grandpa always had a project to work on. Whether it was in his personal workshop at his house, or his personally-owned metal shop, he was always tinkering with something, and it’s for one simple reason: he loved what he did. He simply did it because he loved to do it, and while he certainly would be rewarded for it, whether it be monetarily or otherwise, that was never his goal. He did it because it was what he knew and what he loved. Not only was he the personification of joyful productivity as my sister puts it, but nothing brought grandpa more joy than seeing other people do what they love. He always saw the value in hard work and enjoying what you do, so he had no reservations in appreciating the talents of others, especially if it was something that was outside of wheelhouse. If he knew that someone worked hard on something simply for the love of doing it, he would support them the whole way.

2. Give as much as you get

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It’s no secret that grandpa possessed multiple gifts, whether it be in the realm of mechanics, metalwork, outdoorsmanship, hunting, or the like. Not only did he take these gifts and use them to the best of his capacity, but he was always eager to share his knowledge with anyone and everyone. Not only did he serve as the committee chairman  and outdoor chairman for my Boy Scout troop for decades, which allowed him to teach young men, myself included, about his love of the wilderness and the outdoors, but he also volunteered with multiple local organizations to help teach children and adults alike about things like antique machines, agricultural tools, railway cars, and so much more. Grandpa was never content to keep his knowledge to himself, and his eagerness to share his talents and wares with the world around him brought him as much joy as it did to those under his tutelage.

3. “Life is good!”

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This was essentially Grandpa’s life motto, so much so that it was actually engraved on his tombstone. It’s no secret that life is challenging, unpredictable, and often unfair. Grandpa was no stranger to any of this, but he did more than the best with what he was given. He embraced every aspect of his life and had an intense appreciation for everything and everyone around him, even if it just meant just sitting in silence and “watching the mountains grow.” If someone were to appreciate life at least half as much as Grandpa did, there’s really only one thing they could bring themselves to say: “Life is good!”

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So there we have it. If this, my sister’s article, and my previous article about him are to be believed, my grandfather had an unparalleled love for life that many young men today should strive to emulate. He was an incredible example of what a good husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather should be, and I have no idea where I would be without him. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guideon Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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Grandpa and my dad “watching the mountains grow”

Courtship and Marriage

Good afternoon, Ladies! This is Mary from The Young Lady’s Journal. Today’s topic is kind of a hard one to tackle considering the world’s ideas concerning it, but I’ll give it my best shot.

According to the Church, there are four (4) stages of courtship. The first is friendship. You should know each other and be able to discern whether the other is a virtuous and honorable person. There should be no consideration of dating if one or the other rushes in too fast, especially physically.

“Love at first sight” is not a thing. There is only lust at first sight. Physical attraction is not enough on which to base a relationship. It’s important to remember that the purpose of courtship is to marry. You shouldn’t even date them if you can’t possibly see yourself happily married to them someday, beyond the physical aspects of marriage.

It’s the man’s job to preserve and defend your honor and virtue. You should avoid being alone together, not because you will do anything, but because people assume you will. And if people assume you will, your honor is at stake. People will view you as a woman of little virtue, whether true or not.

I understand that people’s perception of you may not matter, but if your boyfriend allows others to see you that way, true or not, he’s failed to defend your honor.

The second stage is the actual courtship. If you have a father or a father figure, he should ask his permission to date or court you before he even asks you. He should have a pretty good idea that you will accept. The reason this is important is because your father is responsible for defending and protecting your honor until your marriage. If your father doesn’t view the young man as a man of honor, he has every right to say no to him. I’m not saying your father is always right, but he genuinely wants what is best for you, and if he doesn’t think this man will be good for you, that should be respected. Your father is responsible for the protection of your honor until the day you’re married, then he transfers the responsibility to your husband.

The third stage is the engagement or betrothal. A young man should ask a young woman’s father for her hand. He should be fairly certain that she will say “Yes,” at this point. Once a woman says “Yes,” it should be brought to the pastor. Before marriage, one must be cautious with physical affection. It is acceptable, but you don’t want to lose your dignity. If he’s not working to keep your image honorable, he himself doesn’t have totally honorable intentions toward you. You’re close to marriage, but this is no excuse to allow yourself to slip. You can’t afford it if you want a good married relationship.

The fourth stage of courtship is marriage. Many wouldn’t consider this as a stage of “courtship”, but it absolutely is. It’s still your relationship with one person of the opposite sex, whether your honor is fully his responsibility or your father’s. Once married, a woman has to be willing to submit to the decisions of her husband. This is not to say he owns her, but he is the leader of the team. The man is the head, the woman is the heart. It’s always been that way, and it naturally always will be. We can’t rewrite what God has already written in our nature.

If you don’t want a domineering or immature husband, don’t date a guy who’s not willing to defend your purity.

I’m sorry if this seemed a little rigid or old-fashioned, I’m just stating what my priests have made clear to me.

Good afternoon, and I’ll see you all next time at the Young Lady’s Journal!

Why Motherhood is The Most Important Job

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is actually brought to you by Mary, courtesy of her own blog. This one is a sort of counterpart to my article about fatherhood, which you can check out right here. In the meantime, however, be sure to check it out and give love to her blog!

The Young Lady’s Journal

Good afternoon, ladies! This is Mary from The Young Lady’s Journal! Today I’m going to tackle a topic I feel is commonly overlooked by people today. So buckle up, and I hope you enjoy it!

In this day and age, everyone is pushing for “gender equality”, as if we don’t already have it. Not that there isn’t sexism in the workplace, among other settings, but as a general rule, there really isn’t. In fact, there are many professions that are heavily female. But there’s one job in particular that is 100% female, and there’s a counterpart which is 100% male.

Without them, there’s no us. No society. No people.

These jobs are motherhood and fatherhood. Big surprise, right?

But it’s true. Society would cease to exist if mothers and fathers ceased to do their job. That is, conceive, bear, and rear (raise) children.

I would even say that these two…

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The 1950s: The Greatest Generation for Families

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So I’ve made it abundantly clear that I love just about anything having to do with the 1950s. The cars, the music, the fashion, and probably my favorite thing, the emphasis on the family! I’ve also made it just as clear that I was born and raised in a traditional family, with both biological parents still married and living under the same roof. And of course, in the 1950s, a traditional family like that was essentially the norm, not the exception as it seems to be today. Now, I’m not going to act like everything in the 1950s was all sunshine and rainbows, but it has been shown to be a generally happier time. And while that can be attributed to any number of reasons, it’s my firm belief that the biggest reason is that traditional family values were a huge emphasis in American society. I’ve stated many times that I’m a huge advocate for traditional family values because said values are what’s important to every single member of the family. Protest or undermine them all you want, but traditional family values and gender roles are what’s best for society. Children who are raised with both biological parents living under the same roof are less likely to commit crime, drop out of high school, and live in poverty. Women who are housewives and stay-at-home moms have consistently been shown to be happier and more satisfied with their lives. And most importantly for our readers, a man who works to provide for his family is taught some of the most important things in his life: responsibility, leadership, work ethic, and how to care for others. And what era had the greatest emphasis on all of these things? The 1950s!

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The 1950s were a time where men acted like men, women acted like women, and children acted like children. It sounds like a far cry from today where people are aiming to not have any differences between any of those three things. Not only that, but as of 2014, approximately 24% of children grew up in fatherless homes, and it’s likely that percentage has increased in four (4) years. That’s more than twice as high as that rate in 1960, 11%. The value of the family is being dangerously undermined in our current year 2018. With modern social justice and universities trying to teach young people, especially women, that marriage and starting a family is obsolete, I’m hoping we can go back to the 1950s. If a woman wanted to try to call out someone for advocating being a sexist or a bigot for just arguing common sense and science, she might ask him “Why don’t we just go back to the 1950s?” But is someone were to ask me that right now, I would say “Yes, we should. Because life was better back then for men, women, and children. Sure racial relations weren’t the best, and we were slightly worried about nuclear armageddon, but people were happier. Men were real men, women were real women, and the family was going strong. I wish families today were as strong as they were back in that day. Families are the cornerstone of a prosperous society, and the 1950s had that in troves. Plus everything in general was just better back then. The cars, the music, the movies, and especially the government and economy.” Sorry for rambling there, but hopefully I got my point across. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guideon Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Stop Treating Sex as Purely a Health Issue

Evening gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! I know you’re probably tired of reading this, but I am so incredibly sorry for the lack of posts on the blog over the past few weeks. Not only was I finishing up with my first semester at San Francisco State which was incredibly stressful, but I also wanted to take a break for Christmas and spend more time with my family. In any case, we should be back to our regular posting schedule after this oddball week of posting (expect a new post from Jonah on Saturday).

So the topic of today’s post is a bit more serious and mature than some of my other posts, so I’m warning you now that this may be a little inappropriate for any younger readers out there, though I doubt we have that many young readers in our audience. Even so, I thought it would be smart to warn you. This vpost was inspired by another video from Prager University, titled Every High School Principal Should Say This. In the video, Mr. Prager himself speaks as if he is a high school principal, and says that if every principal gave the speech he gives in the video, then America would be a much better place. In almost every issue he brings up, I tend to agree, especially with a very small point he makes near the end of the video. At the 4:53 mark in the video, Mr. Prager states that “No more classes will be devoted to condom-wearing, and teaching you to regard sexual relations as no more than a health issue.” This statement, as small and subdued as it was in the video, really struck a chord with me as it brings to light an issue that is all too present at public schools in the US. They teach the youth that they can have as much sex as they please as long as they “use protection” and “stay safe”. This disturbs me to no end. Gents who are reading, if this is all you’ve heard regarding your sexual desires and/or activities, please continue reading because there are some very important things that you need to be told.

Now, I should preface this by saying that yes, I am a virgin, and I intend to stay a virgin until the night I consummate my marriage, call me a Jesus freak. However, being taught about sexual responsibilities from my parents as well as the church has taught me that sex and sexual relations are so much more than a health issue. Now, don’t misunderstand me, there are some very important health issues regarding sex that you should address and be aware of, but the problem is that most public schools only focus on those issues, and nothing else. But here today, I’m here to tell you why that approach to sex is incredibly dangerous.

First and foremost, the primary purpose of sex should be reproduction. I understand that humans are one of only two species on the planet that have sex for pleasure (the other being dolphins if you were curious), but that should not be its only purpose. Sure, it may feel great during and a little bit after the act, but the consequences that are likely to follow are more or less connected to its purpose. People, especially young men, should not be having sex simply because it makes them feel good. Not only can guiltlessly having sex like this lead to things like STIs and unwanted pregnancies in women, which public schools teach in spades, but there are huge moral issues that come with it too. Here is a hypothetical scenario.

Say you take a lady home after a night out and you end up hooking up. After she leaves the next morning, you never speak to her again. You think to yourself “Eh, it was just a one night stand, we can both just forget about it and move on.” You get a text from her a few weeks later, and she tells you that she’s pregnant. Now there’s a slew of questions that run through your head. “Is she going to get an abortion? Is she going to go through with it? If she does, will she want me to raise the child with her? Am I even ready to raise a child?” This can obviously create a lot of stress not just for you, but also the woman you hooked up with. Plus, if the woman decides to have the child out of wedlock, then that can cause an even bigger number of problems for both the mother and the child, even if you stay around to help raise the child. So it’s not just an issue of avoiding STIs. The results of sexual activity can be a huge responsibility for both the man and woman involved. Even if you use protection, said protection is prone to failure, and if it does fail, those responsibilities can quickly show their faces again. And all of this stems from what is possibly the biggest problem surrounding sex today: general sexual ignorance.

Like I said, public schools will try to teach you that the only thing you want to avoid when you have sex is pregnancy and STIs. While avoiding STIs is of course a good thing, teaching people how to avoid pregnancy shows a huge problem that young people have today: they’re having sex while not being ready to accept the results of it. People are having sex while not being anywhere near ready to have or raise children. Why even have sex then? Like I said, even if you use protection while casually having sex, that protection may not always work. And since you weren’t ready to accept the responsibilities of sex, hence why you used protection in the first place, your life just became much more stressful and difficult. And let’s not forget that the schools are also teaching people that having sex outside of marriage is perfectly fine, again, if you use protection.

Please don’t misunderstand me. If you choose to have sex outside of marriage, I’m ok with that as long as you’re smart about it. However, there have been multiple studies to show that married couples not only have more sex, but have more satisfaction in their sexual lives than unmarried partners. And not only that, but both sides of a married couple are less likely to contract STIs. On top of that, married couples are generally more prepared to raise children, and as a result, a child raised by two biological parents is significantly more likely to do better in school, graduate college, and raise a family of his or her own.

So to make a long story short, the responsibilities of sex go beyond just the issue of STIs, despite what public schools may have you believe. This is what Mr. Prager was trying to say in regards to sexual education in schools in the PragerU video. So gents, whether it’s a one night stand or a meaningful relation with a long-term partner, ask  yourself these two questions: Am I willing and/or planning to marry or already married to this person? Am I ready to raise a child and a family? If your answer to either of those questions is “no”, then I would advise you to NOT have sex with her.

Apologies for how long-winded this post was or how harsh it may seem, this issue just really gets under my skin. Thank you to Dennis Prager and Prager University for giving me inspiration to write this. This is in no way sponsored by them or anything, I just thought their video served as the perfect basis for what I wanted to say. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

#PragerFORCE

The Gentleman’s Guide to the Perfect Handshake

Morning gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! I am so sorry for the lack of posts on the blog all through October, school has been murder. But I am not going to let that stop me, and I should be back to my regular post schedule starting now! So jumping right back onto the train, I’m here to give you a guide to a perfect handshake. Giving a perfect handshake can make a good impression on everyone you meet, so it’s important to know how to properly give a handshake like a true gentleman. Thankfully, the Art of Manliness provided this a handy diagram that I’ll post in a little bit, and I’ll also put up a few other tips as well as different forms of handshakes in case you come across a situation where you’ll have to use them.

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So the diagram seems to be pretty perfect. Look the other person in the eye, smile, don’t let your hand go limp, but also don’t try to crush the other person’s hand. With this in mind, there is one big tip I would like to add on: don’t let the handshake go to long! If any of you have seen the film Captain America: Civil War, you know that there’s a scene where Scott Lang (Ant-Man) first meets Steve Rogers (Captain America) and shakes his hand. Lang is overall very awkward in the scene and even acknowledges that he shakes Steve’s hand for too long. This is perfect advice for a good handshake. If you let it go on for too long, it can be incredibly awkward for both involved in the shake. While the length of the shake can be hard to gauge, it shouldn’t go any longer than about five (5) seconds. With this in mind, let’s go into the two (2) most common handshake variations so you know how to identify them and what they mean.

1. The Scout Handshake

Unless you’re a Boy Scout, it’s unlikely that you’ll come across this very often, but I use it quite a bit with people I know. The Scout handshake is basically the same thing as a normal handshake, just with the left hand instead of the right. The reason the Boy Scouts use the Scout handshake is because it’s a symbol of friendship, respect, and courage. The tradition of shaking with the left hand came from the Ashanti warriors who were present in Africa in the late 19th Century. According to the Ashanti chiefs, “In our land only the bravest of the brave shake hands with the left hand, because to do so we must drop our shields and our protection.”

2. The Two-Handed Handshake

You see this one a lot among politicians (I also get it quite a bit during the Sign of Peace while in church). This is pretty simple, after initiating the regular handshake, one or both participants will put their other hand on the other person’s right hand. This one is meant to show warmth, friendship, and trust. It’s meant to be a sincere handshake, to be shared between close friends, family, and colleagues.

So there it is! I’m sorry that this post wasn’t very long or in depth, the act of a proper handshake is just rather simple to learn and understand. Hopefully you found this post helpful to you and that you gents reading this are able to give great handshakes in the future. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Art of a Haircut: How to Communicate with your Barber

Afternoon gents! It’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here, coming at you with some helpful info about one of the most important aspects of men’s lifestyle: a visit to the barber! It’s been said several times that one of the most important people in a man’s life is his barber, and I’m inclined to agree to an extent. While people tend to stereotype women as the ones who obsess over their hair care, men also tend put a lot of emphasis on keeping their locks neat and clean. That’s why so many men go to barber shops today. With this in mind, I’m going to give you four (4) steps to make your next haircut easier and all the more satisfying. (Also, disclaimer, most of what I have in this post comes from this video from the Art of Manliness, so I’m not about to claim credit for any of this.)

1. Use precise measurements

One of the biggest mistakes that people make when going to a barber shop is telling the barber they want “a little bit off the top”, which every barber will interpret that differently. As in the AoM video, “one man’s trim is another man’s close shave.” So in order to make your cut more precise, or suited to your terms, tell them a specific measurement you want cut. Say something “two inches off the top”, or if you aren’t sure about how much you want cut, just let your barber know. He’ll just clip a little bit off, ask you if you like it, and if you don’t, he’ll clip off some more, simple as that.

2. Know some general styles

Obviously, with a haircut, there are a lot of different styles you can go for. With so many out there, just telling the barber a general you want a trim can be a bit confusing to them. Telling the barber you want a specific hairstyle can help ease that confusion. To give you an idea, I’ll give you a few visuals of the most popular men’s hairstyles. (And yes, I’ll be using a few celebrity pictures, bear with me.)

Crew Cut
Crew Cut (my typical cut)
High and Tight
High and Tight
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Buzz Cut
Flat Top
Flat Top (think military haircut)

Also, keep in mind that these can come in various lengths, or you can even ask for a hybrid of styles. But just keep these in mind when talking to your barber. He’ll know what you’re talking about.

3. Show them a picture

This is honestly pretty simple. If you show your barber a picture of the haircut you want, they’ll be able to replicate it based on the picture. This worked very well for my last haircut. I just showed the barber a picture of my cousin who had gotten a similar haircut, and it turned out perfectly. There’s really not much else to say here.

4. Let your barber do his job

Now yes, you may have an idea of what you may want your hair to look like, but remember who the expert is: the barber. He will know what type of cut will work best with your head shape, neck thickness, etc. Plus, certain cuts will also look different depending hair or skin color. So, even if the barber may have different suggestions than what you might prefer, just hear him out and let him do his job. He’ll know what to do.

So there it is! Follow these steps, and your hair will be looking as spiffy as ever! Also, honorable mention here, keep going to the same barber. If you keep going to the same barber, he’ll get to know what style you usually like to get, a general idea of you head shape, and other details of the cut. Also, this post only covered the bare minimum of a haircut. The Art of Manliness video goes into much more detail about other aspects of the cut, so I would highly recommend watching that video too.  In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

How to Date

Afternoon gents! So, I recently read an article from the Odyssey Online called “Why We Need To Start Dating Again.” It was a fantastic article which I’ll include a link to right here

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/miami/why-we-need-start-dating-again/105125

After reading that, I instantly knew it had to become a post on the blog. So today, I’m going to give you four (4) easy steps on how to date more properly. Now, for those of you who saw the video on my YouTube channel about ways to improve your first date, some of those things may apply to this post as well. So without any further ado, let’s start the list!

1. Ask her out in person

Now this applies before the date even starts. Now, in today’s increasingly digital age, it’s easy to just ask the girl you like out on a date over text message, Facebook Message, Snapchat, etc. And it’s because of this that asking someone out to their face is practically unheard of nowadays. But there is a huge problem with this. Without that direct channel,  you won’t be able to see her reaction to your proposition! Whether she’s single, taken, or just not currently interested in dating, she will, more often than not, be extremely flattered that you want to date her. And I get it, it can be extremely nerve-wracking, but the worst she can say is no. It’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t want to go out with you. It’s not like she’ll never want to speak to you again, she just doesn’t have those same feelings that you have. (On that note, there’s no such thing as the fabled “friend zone. If she doesn’t want to go out with you, just leave it at that.)

2. Set a time and stick to it

More often that not, all you hear about when someone goes on a date is that the person’s date was late either to meet them at the place or to pick them up (and yes, being “fashionably late”, whatever that means, still counts) . This is a problem not only with dating today, but with people in general. People don’t seem to value punctuality as much as they used to. The best thing when you ask someone out, hopefully in person like I mentioned earlier, you two should establish a time either to meet at wherever you two are planning to go, or for one of you to pick the other one up. You’ll just be asking for trouble if you can’t show up on time.

3. If you pick her up, go to her front door

We’ve all experienced it; someone picking someone else  up at their house and them just texting them saying “I’m here.” To those people, I have to ask: what’s wrong with going to their front door? It’s a great way to leave an impression on your date, and it could even be a way to introduce yourself to your date’s parents. Again,  I understand. It can be incredibly nerve-wracking, and it could be incredibly awkward, but it’s not the end of the world. So one small aspect of the date is kind of awkward. So what? It’s a date, it’s inevitable that not everything will exactly as planned. Just continue with the date and have fun!

4. Keep conversation colloquial

Up until now, all these tips apply before the actual date starts. But now that you’re out on the date, you need to keep your date engaged while you’re out. Obviously, you’ll have a conversation while you guys are out, but you need to keep what you’re talking about appropriate. You’ll clearly want to avoid any sensitive or controversial topics such as religion or politics, unless you two share similar views on such things, but for the most part, it should be avoided. Just keep things simple; if you guys are both in school, talk to each other about what you’re studying or what classes you’re taking. If you’re both working, talk about your jobs, what you do, or what your schedules look like (which could really help in setting up future dates). Those are just a few examples though. You could talk about your families, your hobbies, your favorite movies, etc. Again, anything except religion and politics.

So there you go! Follow these four (4) steps, and you’ll be on your way to a great date! Don’t worry if things get awkward, just keep it natural and enjoy each other’s company. If you follow these steps, things should go really well between you and your lady friend, and you could even have more dates in the future!

Be sure to follow me on social media and let me know how any of your dates go following these tips. Until next time, this is Max from Men in the Making, and I’ll see you next time!