Is There a Right Time to get Married?

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! To start off, I want to offer my sincerest apologies for not having any articles up in so long, I’ve been incredibly busy with so many musical and professional endeavors which have hindered the amount of time I have to write, but since we’re now in the new year, I intend to hit the ground running with new content on the blog going forward. In any case, I hope you enjoy this article as well as all our other content going forward.

This article will, once again, be an expansion to one of the 15 Rules for Gentlemen to Teach Their Sons, rule number 10 in the case of this article. Rule number 10 states that there is never a right time to get married. Allow me to expand on what I mean by that.

By saying that there’s no right time to get married, I’m not saying that getting married is by any means a wrong decision or that getting married is bad at any time. All I’m saying is that with a decision as big as choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone, there will always be risks going in. Nothing is set in stone, and there can be a multitude of factors that can create problems for both people involved in the sacrament. There can be financial issues, family emergencies, sickness, and not being entirely prepared, just to name a few. While there are risks going in and it’s almost guaranteed that there will be things that will create problems in the marriage, the best thing that anyone looking to get married can do is to simply make the best-informed decision they can make given the time and circumstances. If you know for a fact that the woman you’re dating and looking to marry is a good person who works well with you, treats you with the same respect and dignity you show her, and also knows that she wants to get married, then marrying her could very well be the best-informed decision you can make. Of course, I am no authority on this. I am well aware that every relationship is different. Two people may need more time to date and connect than another two people, the circumstances leading up to their relationship and their marriage may be different. I’m certainly not the arbiter of what might be the aforementioned “best-informed decision”, that can only be left up to the lovebirds. In the words of Parks and Recreation‘s Ron Swanson, “You find someone you like, and you roll the dice.”

So there it is! Apologies if this article seemed a bit more vague and abstract than most of my other articles. This is clearly a very difficult subject to talk about, and I by no means have all the answers. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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Exciting News!

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! To start off, I wanted to apologize for not having anything up on the blog lately. Not only have I been incredibly busy with all sorts of musical and professional endeavors, but I was also just feeling really burned out, and I just couldn’t come up with new ideas as to what to write. I do have another article on the backburner that I’m hoping to have up within a week or two, and then hopefully my writer’s block will be cured. In any case, that’s not the exciting news that the title promised. The actual news is actually twofold, and both parts of it are directly related. The first part is that a new series will be starting in the blog! The second is that this new series will actually be written by a new admin! This new series, known as “The Young Lady’s Journal”, will be written by our new admin, Mary Drewsen. If you’d like to know more about her, she introduces herself here on her own blog. I’ve noticed that I lot of people are in fact young women, so I thought why not introduce content that appeals to them as well? I will of course continue to put out all my regular content, that’s not going anywhere, I just thought complementary content would be a good direction to take this blog. So be sure to check out Mary’s blog since she’ll likely be putting out content of her own before too long, and be sure to keep an eye out for her first article as part of the Young Lady’s Journal!

2 More Classical Music Pieces Every Gentleman Should Listen To

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So I’m on a bit of a time crunch for this article, and there is one that I have drafted right now that will require quite a bit more research and will have to go up at a later date. So today, I wanted to write something a bit more simple and lighthearted. This will essentially be an extension of my first article pertaining to this subject, so be sure to check that one out before continuing on. If you’ve already read that first article, then feel free to continue on with this one. This article will highlight just two more pieces of classical music that every gentleman should take the time to listen to, but since there are just two pieces to be highlighted, I will go into a bit more detail about them. So without any more delay, let’s started!

1. Symphony No. 1: “The Lord of the Rings” (1988)

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Spotify link here

To start off, we’re actually going to start with the most recently composed piece I’m going to mention on either of these lists. Also, it’s the only one I’ve mentioned so far that was written for a concert band, though one of my all-time favorite recordings of it has it transcribed for a full orchestra. In any case, this piece is a fascinating piece to look at considering the fact that its composer, Johan De Meij (1953-present) actually based the symphony off of the first Lord of the Rings book, The Fellowship of the Ring, and the movements reflect this. The movements break down as follows:

  1. Gandalf (The Wizard)
  2. Lothlórien (The Elevenwood)
  3. Gollum (Sméagol)
  4. Journey Through the Dark (The Mines of Moria & The Bridge of Khazad-Dûm)
  5. Hobbits

As you can see, each movement of the symphony is based on a certain character, setting, or situation from the book, and each movement encapsulates that particular moment perfectly. Gandalf sounds very sage and wise, but also embarks on a frantic journey to research the Ring; Lothlórien is ancient and mysterious, with the instruments mimicking natural forest sounds; Gollum, represented by a soprano saxophone solo, is slimy and conniving, but may still have some good in him as represented by the accompanying orchestra; Journey Through the Dark is long, treacherous, and mysterious, with the showdown with the Balrog near the end being grand and epic; Hobbits have a simple march-like tune as their theme, with a solemn, hymn-like variation of that theme following it, showing the simplicity of the Hobbits’ way of living. It’s even speculated that Howard Shore took at least some inspiration from this symphony when writing the score for the Lord of the Rings films directed by Peter Jackson. It’s hard to deny after listening to the symphony, but whether or not it’s actually true remains up to debate.

2. Symphony No. 5 in D minor (1937)

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Spotify link here

Dmitri Shostakovich’s (1906-1975) fifth symphony is one of his most well known and commonly performed symphonies, and for good reason. It’s one of his most emotional and epic works, but what makes it even more fascinating is its place in both musical and political history. Shostakovich wrote most of his music in the 1930s and 1940s, when Joseph Stalin had completely tightened his grip on Soviet Russia. As a result of the musical tastes of Stalin and other Communist Party members, the music of many modernist composers like Shostakovich was being passed off as niche and avant garde, and composers at the time were advised to write music that stuck more to traditional musical standards as a way to make it more accessible to the public. After a scathing editorial about Shostakovich’s music was published in Pravda, the official newspaper of the Soviet Union, Shostakovich began work on his fifth symphony. After its premiere in 1937, the symphony supposedly received an ovation lasting over 30 minutes, and very well could have the piece of music that saved Shostakovich’s life (all of this information and more can be found in this video by Odd Quartet on YouTube). Though there are certainly elements of Shostakovich’s modernist practices throughout the symphony, it was very well-received by the public as well as Communist Party leaders, with many stating that the symphony was Shostakovich quelling his modernist tendencies to make his music more accessible. This piece is worthy to listen to simply as a lesson in musical and political history, but I promise that you will get a lot more out of it than that.

So there we have it! Apologies if this list was substantially shorter than my last article on the subject, but like I said, I was on a bit of a time crunch for this one. Let me know what you think of these pieces by leaving a comment, and if there are any other pieces that you think are worthy of mentioning, be sure to let me know! In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Stop Using “Virgin” as an Insult

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s topic is may be a bit more risqué than most of my other articles, so any of you younger readers may want to skip over this one; I hope you’ll come back for the next article. In any case, I want to get into something that has turned into quite a pervasive part of that average male lexicon: shaming other men for being virgins. However, as you may have guessed by the title, shaming another man for being a virgin is in no way a good thing, and it may even set a dangerous precedent for young men. Allow me to explain why.

Put simply, shaming men for being virgins is in no way a good thing because there’s simply no shame in being a virgin. A man having standards and saving the beauty of sex for the right time or person has nothing to be ashamed of. Contrary to popular belief, most people who are strong advocates for abstinence have that mindset not because they’re afraid of sex, or “prudes” as they may be called. As a matter of fact, many of those people, including myself, hold the beauty of sex to such a high standard that they don’t want to give it away at the first chance just to fulfill some arbitrary standard set up for them. This is in stark contrast to how society, the education system, and popular media talk about sex. The way that sex is taught and portrayed in these contexts, (not all the time, but often enough to the point where I even have to bring it up) it completely removes all standards that sex may have had. As a result, people, especially men, are being taught that they can and should have as much sex as they please, and by extension, it’s taught men that they should stake their entire reputation on whether or not they’ve done the deed. It’s set a dangerous precedent for men to place all of their value on their virginity, when in reality, it shouldn’t matter at all. That is ultimately the root of the problem. “Virgin” shouldn’t be used as an insult because it shouldn’t really matter, therefore, there shouldn’t feel any shame for men being virgins. More often than not, men with this mindset just hold themselves to at least some kind of standard and believe that the best way to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies is to simply wait for the right time and person.

In summary, using “virgin” as an insult is in no way a good thing simply because it doesn’t matter and there’s no reason for a man to be ashamed of being a virgin, despite a multitude of things telling him that he should be. Using “virgin” so derogatorily sets a dangerous precedent for men that shames them into dropping any standards that they  may have had for the sake of hedonism and impressing their peers. Sorry if that got so bleak, this is just something that particularly speaks to me. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Love Cannot be Forced

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I’d take a stab at something that I personally have been struggling with lately. Also, I feel like this is something that’s important for any up-and-coming gentleman to hear, whether they’re just getting into the dating scene or have been involved in it for ten years, or even more. The most important thing to remember about love and dating is this: it cannot be forced, it has to happen naturally. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Of course, whenever you’re looking to date somebody, it’s important to be upfront with them about your intentions and what you’re looking for out of your interaction, I’m not denying that. What I mean when I say that love can’t be forced is that it’s important to realize that wanting to be romantic with someone after just meeting them will, more often than not, just end with nothing but heartbreak, likely on both sides. A relationship needs to develop naturally over time. You won’t just meet someone and then instantly enter into a relationship with them; that’s just not how it works. Of course, that’s not to say that you might instantly click with someone or experience love at first sight, because I am a firm believer that those two things can happen. But even in those cases, it’s important that you spend more time with that certain lady. It simply allows for the two of you to develop a more genuine connection. And with all that in mind, this actually leads very nicely into my next point.

On top of being patient and letting a relationship develop naturally over time, another important thing to keep in mind is that it might not be the best idea to be actively seeking out a relationship. Just like letting the relationship develop naturally over time, it is better most of the time for the way you meet to be very organic as well. It could be something like meeting a girl who you share a class with, meeting a girl through work, or maybe meeting her through a church activity. There’s a variety of ways that this can happen. Just so you don’t misunderstand me, while it is important to not actively seek out a relationship, it’s also just as important to just be open to the possibility of one happening. All it takes is some common sense as well as a decent ability to pick up signals (something that I admittedly need to improve about myself).

So there it is! Hopefully this article was able to help any of you gents reading who may be having some trouble in you love lives. It’s certainly something that has opened my eyes and completely change my perspective on dating in general. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Be Assertive, don’t be the Bad Guy

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is going to be another expansion on one of my 15 Rules to Teach your Sons (I imagine there will more than a few more of these in the future since I feel like I can get a lot more material out of that list). In any case, this article is going to talk about one of the most effective ways to be a good leader. This will more clearly explain the phrase, “be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy.” This was always something I heard from my dad while I was the Senior Patrol Leader with my Boy Scout troop, and it’s something that’s stuck with me to this day. So today, I’m going to elaborate more on what that phrase means and how to properly apply it to any leadership position any of you reading may hold in your life.

To start, it’s important to understand what this statement really means. But in all honesty, it’s pretty simple; it means exactly what it sounds like. As a leader, it’s important to be assertive and enforce the rules, but it’s equally as important to have those under his tutelage respect and look up to him. Any team, class, or anything else with a leader who can do this effectively can get so much more out of their efforts than one whose leader doesn’t have his comrades respect him. It’s essentially a two-way street. If the team respects the leader, the leader will respect his team. This will lead to a better and more effective performance from the team as whole.

Now that we’ve gone over what the statement actually means, let’s move onto what I’m sure most of you came to see: how to actually employ this statement to your own leadership position. Now, there are quite a few different ways this strategy can be utilized, but I believe the simplest and most effective way to do so is exactly the same way I described it in my 15 Rules article. That is, a leader should clearly outline the rules to his teammates and enforce them, but he should make it clear that he, the leader, is not at all above them. A true leader doesn’t view himself as superior or in any way above the rest of the team, he is simply another member of said team. If a leader simply does nothing but give commands and then sits back while the team does all the work, then he is no longer a leader, he is a dictator. As such, those under his command will soon come to resent him, which results in the exact opposite outcome of what I outlined above. So in short, while it is important to outline and enforce the rules, a true leader is not above said rules and in no way elevates himself above the other members of the team.

So there it is! I hope this gave you a bit more clarity on what I was trying to say in my original 15 Rules list. This was something that has stuck with me and helped me out in numerous situations throughout my life, and I think it will be a huge help to those of you reading this. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Necessity of Failure

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! If you read my last article, you would know that one of the rules I put on that list is that there’s no shame in loss or failure. So for today’s article, I thought I would expand on that. Without any further delay, let’s get started!

To start off, it’s important to know this sobering fact: loss and failure are simply a part of life. Sometimes, it’s just not possible for things to always go the way you want them to. Whether it’s a sporting event, an audition, a job prospect, or anything of the sort, it’s simply not possible to win a hundred percent of the time. But of course, in today’s day and age, where you’ll be rewarded just for showing up, that sting of failure is being seriously downplayed. What people today seem to be forgetting is that “The road to victory… is paved with losses.” This is what makes losing so important.

There are two things you can do if you lose or fail. You can wallow in pity and shame, which is reasonably understandable, or you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and use that loss as a way to improve. If you lose a sporting event, that makes for a perfect opportunity for you and your team to review your game plan and see where it went wrong. If you don’t get that part you were looking for after your audition, it’s a good chance to improve your practice techniques and pinpoint what exactly went wrong. If you get passed up for that certain job you were looking for, you can use it as a chance to change things on your resume, switch up your interview strategy, or simply look for another job that properly utilizes your skill set. Yes, failure can hurt, losing can sting like nothing else. But being praised for “doing your best” and simply being awarded for participating is no way to get ahead. It doesn’t teach competitiveness, ambition, or perseverance. All it does is glorify complacency, and teach legions of people that as long as you show up, that’s enough. That isn’t how the world should work. People need to be taught that even though it may hurt to fail, it’s necessary to do so, since it makes those successes much sweeter and much more rewarding.

Apologies if that sounded a bit too harsh and direct, there are just certain topics that really speak to me, and this is one of those topics. If nothing else, I hope this gave those of you reading at least a little bit of a perspective shift to show that there is no shame in loss or failure.In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

One Sad Result of Capitalism

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is sort of going against the grain of what I normally post, but this is something that I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time, and I feel like this is the best place to do it. Now before I continue, I must address that I actually favor and advocate for free-market capitalism as much as the next guy. It may have its flaws, but I believe it’s a fair and sound economic ideology that has done an inordinate amount of good for the societies where it has been implemented. But as with any good thing, there will be people out there who try to exploit it, and that leads quite nicely into the meat of this article.

As much of a proponent as I am for capitalism, it pains me to say that its implementation in American society has led to a serious degradation and stagnation in the world of music. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love music, so it brings me no pleasure to say this. Instead of powerful, emotional, and experimental masterpieces like Gabrieli’s Sacrae Symphoniae, Mozart’s Magic Flute, Debussy’s Clair de Lune, Wagner’s Ring Cycle, and others, we have the repetitive, recycled, uninspired droll of artists like Ariana Grande, Post Malone, and Katy Perry, among others. And I’m not just talking the simple harmonic structures, though that can certainly be a contributing factor. Even with jazz, classic rock, and R&B, as simple as the structures of those styles can be, many artists back in the day were still able to implement some form of experimentation, whether it be in the form of improvisation, instrumental choices, or storytelling through the music and lyrics. Artists like Miles Davis dabbled in and was a pioneer of multiple different jazz styles, Bob Seger told very deep and heartfelt stories through his lyrics, and the members of The Who were able to write a surreal messiah story in the form of Tommy. Nowadays, most modern pop artists seem to just seem to be the masters of mundane. They wrote mundane songs with mundane structures about mundane subjects. So many of today’s modern hits are just songs about subjects that have been done to death; broken relationships, heartbreak, sex, love, or even just everyday life. While there have obviously been countless songs about all these subjects in the past, artists in the past would often use those subjects to tell a deeper story or have a deeper moral. Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely was written as a heartwarming ode to his daughter. Bob Seger’s The Fire Inside, for as simple as its chord and harmonic sequence is, is a heartfelt tale about the struggles of finding love and how the pain and memory of love lost never really leave you. Many songs by the Beatles utilized unorthodox chord progressions and key changes that kept listeners interested from start to finish. And of course, there’s the entire treasure trove of classical music with its multitude of stories, emotion, and themes. Nowadays, however, many pop artists are just expected to write simple, repetitive, and mundane songs to please the masses. I don’t entirely blame the artists for this, however. I believe it’s mostly the fault of their producers, which leads me to believe this is the result of capitalism.

One of the core tenets of capitalism is the concept of supply and demand. While the details of both supply and demand are entirely too complex for an article like this, the basics of it is that if there is a high demand for a product, those who own the business will need to continue putting out said product to meet the demand. This is exactly the way the music industry works. These young, marginally talented artists are being picked up by major record labels and music producers just as a means to sell more of their music in order to meet the demand of the people, and as a result, make more and more money. While this kind of business model is perfectly understandable and seems just fine on the surface, it has unfortunately led to a complete stagnation of creativity and experimentation. On top of that, it’s not even important to these producers that artists are even talented, all that’s important to them is that they’re marketable. This had let to not only stagnation in musical creativity, but also on a reliance on lip-syncing and autotuning, meaning the artists who are supposedly playing a singing these songs don’t even need to actually have musical talent. Now, none of this is to say that there is zero musical creativity out there today. There are a number of independent and self-produced artists out there who I’m sure would appreciate as much support as they can get. What bothers is me is that these modern, over-marketed pop artists are what most people are exposed to. It’s what’s played on the radio, in department stores, on TV, and anywhere else that allows it to be heard by the masses. And because it’s so often heard by so many people, it makes them think that music like that is the pinnacle of musical talent, and they’ll never be able to appreciate the genuine talent that many unheard artists, musicians, and composers actually have.

Apologies if this turned into such a downer, this subject just really gets under my skin. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Incels: A Dangerous Ideology

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I would take a stab at talking about a subject that has become more and more prominent on the internet as of late: incels. For the uninitiated, incel is a portmanteau of the words involuntary celibate. It’s an online subculture made up of self-defeating men who are single virgins, but not on  their own accord. They feel entitled to sex with women, and when they don’t attain it, they blame all of their problems and tribulations on things like modern feminism and social justice, or the idea that women today have become shallow and cruel, only choosing from a small pool of attractive men while leaving the rest in the dust. This op-ed from the Washington Post goes into more detail about it, and I will also be using its sources, so be sure to read the whole thing.

Now that you are aware of what an incel is, that leaves this question: is this a bad, or possibly dangerous ideology? The short answer is yes, of course it is. Now, while I myself have my own criticisms against the modern feminist and social justice movements, and I don’t deny that such movements are creating problems within the realms of dating and marriage, I’m not about to blame them in their entirety for the problems within the dating pool. And as a result, I still advocate for my readers to be what you would call  traditional gentleman; be generally stoic, stand up for yourself, keep yourself generally presentable, and simply treat other people like individual human beings who deserve  basic human decency. These things are more than likely to land you a siginifcant other and lead to general happiness in life, even with such rapidly shifting social norms. However, many incels take this the exact opposite way. And just so we’re clear, I don’t mean to direct this at every single man who may have trouble on the flirtation/dating front. I realize that there are simply some men out there who are novices in the way of talking to and dating women, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m simply talking about that small subculture of men who blame those problems on those things I mentioned before, and believe they are entitled to sex or, for all intents and purposes, a girlfriend simply because they want it and think sex will lead to their ultimate happiness. And with social media, online forums, and message boards being as prominent as they are, incels are starting to form self-defeating and self-radicalizing communities that can often be escalated to a dangerous level.

A lot of terrible and misogynistic posts and tweets can, more often than not, be attributed to incels online (just get a load of this subReddit). They’ll often say that women are shallow, or that women don’t actually know what they want. It unfortunately doesn’t stop there however. Many incels take it a step further by having rape fantasies or saying that women brought about their own downfall by advocating for the right to vote! It’s truly a disgustingly backwards mindset, that can be and has been taken to a dangerous. At least a plurality of mass shootings and massacres have also been attributed to some incels, and more often than not, other incels may praise these acts and treat these murderers like heroes. This is the level it has reached. Put simply, most incels have a dangerous and backward mindset, and to anyone reading this who may feel themselves falling down that incel rabbit hole, here’s my advice. I get it, rejection can hurt, and for all I know, maybe it can be the woman’s fault and not yours. However, if you do get rejected and are having trouble with dating and flirtation, use it as a chance to see how you can improve instead of blaming the one who rejected you. Also, and I know that this will be a hard pill to swallow, but there will just be those women who won’t be interested in you. The sooner you’re able to accept that, the better.

I’m sorry if this article got so morbid, there’s simply a lot to unpack when it comes to incels. Just be vigilant, stand up for yourself, and strive to be the best you can be, and you’ll be just fine. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

15 Rules for Gentlemen to Teach Their Sons

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First off, I want to sincerely apologize for being absent for so long. Finishing up school at SF State was absolutely brutal, but now that I’ve graduated, I should have much more time to put up more articles for you all to enjoy! In any case, a few weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast called Deconstructing the Culture with Elisa Steele. I highly recommend checking it out if you’re interested in political and social commentary from a conservative and Biblical perspective. In her thirty-eighth episode, entitled “Real Men”, Mrs. Steele looks over and debunks a ludicrous list of fifteen things to teach young boys, and for the most part, I have to agree with what she has to say. After going through that list, Mrs. Steele encourages her listeners to send her an email with their own list of what to teach young men, so I decided to do just that. I emailed her fifteen rules for gentlemen to teach their sons, and in this article, I’m going to explain each rule one-by-one. Bear in mind that this article is going to be a bit longer than most of my other articles, but I can almost guarantee you that these will go a long way. So before this article turns into a full-length novel, let’s get started!

1. Step up and be a leader when no one else will

This one really should go without saying. Men by nature should be more eager to take on leadership roles, and there may be those times where someone needs to take charge. Not only does taking on leadership positions allow men to grow in their confidence, but it also allows men to learn more about themselves, which will further prepare them to take on more leadership positions or even be fathers later on down the road.

2. There’s a difference between being a leader and being a dictator

As an extension to rule number 1, this is a very small, yet extremely important distinction to make. While both leaders and dictators will likely be giving orders, a true leader will be out with there those he is commanding, assisting them or even protecting them so they can complete the task at hand. While a dictator will also give orders, he will simply watch over those he is commanding and most of the time, not even be out there to assist them.

3. Be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy

This is yet another extension to the first two rules. A true leader will enforce the rules and commands he gives; if not, he wouldn’t even be doing his job properly. But there is a way to enforce said rules without coming across as the bad guy. The best leader will enforce the rules while making it clear that he is not at all above them. If a leader thinks himself to be above the rules, that’s essentially the first step to a dictatorship.

4. It’s not always shameful to back down from a fight

A lot of times, men are encouraged to engage in fights, whether verbal or physical, as a way to prove their manliness, so to speak. However, there are, more often than not, certain times where engaging in a fight simply isn’t worth it. Whether it’s because there’s no changing the mind of the opposition or simply because there’s no chance of winning, some fights are just not worth getting into, and thus there’s no shame in backing down from them. Of course, figuring out which fights may or may not be worth getting into is all up to every man’s instincts; I can’t be the arbiter of which fights are worth getting into.

5. Never be afraid to ask questions

Most men by default like to feel like they’re in charge and that they don’t need help. Of course, there will simply be those times where a man can’t figure something out, and will need to ask a question or ask for help. This is often an area of shame for many men, myself included, but it really shouldn’t be. Asking questions and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it should be treated as a sign of humility and being willing to learn.

6. Always ask how you can help

Whenever working on a group project in any capacity, there will almost always be a way to help. However, a man should rarely, if ever, wait for a task to be handed or appointed to them. A man should always be on hand to help, and as such, should always ask how they can help with the task at hand.

7. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in, even in the face of being mocked or dismissed

In today’s political and social climate, this seems more relevant than ever. No matter where they stand on the political spectrum, a man will have opponents. And when a man has opinions, he should be prepared to have them challenged at any point. Thus, he should stand up for what he believes in, and not back down if backed into a corner. This doesn’t mean he should be a “yes man” at any point, but we’ll get to that later.

8. More importantly, stand up for those who are important to you

Though there may be some who try to deny it, every man has at least one person who is important to them. It can be a family member, a friend, or a significant other. If such people are important to a man, that man should stand up for them as well as himself in the case of violence, ridicule, and exploitation. Men by nature are protectors, and not being able to stand up for those who are important to them are simply betraying themselves along with those people.

9. Being a champion bodybuilder doesn’t make you a great man

Don’t misunderstand me. Being physically fit is essential to any man’s health, and being able to lift heavy loads can certainly be an important part of his arsenal. However, a man being able to bench press twice his body weight just to say that he can is in no way correlated to his character. Moreover, it doesn’t really serve any purpose unless he plans to use his strength as a way to help people. As much a man should value his health and physical fitness, physical prowess and good character are in no way correlated.

10. There’s never a right time to get married

This one applies later in life to those who are getting ready to tie the knot. There is, of course, no shame in a man waiting for the right person or waiting until being more financially stable, the but fact of the matter is that there will always be risks going in. The best a man can do is make the best-informed decision at the time. But even as well-informed as that decision may be, the risk will always be there, and there will never be that “perfect time” to get married.

11. Blind faith and loyalty will get you nowhere

This is essentially a follow-up to rule number 7. While it is of course important to have things you believe in and people to look up to, it should never spiral down to the point of blind faith and loyalty. A man should always hold his beliefs and those he looks up to to some amount of scrutiny. As much as a man can look up to a certain political figure, it’s important to remember that they are still human. They make mistakes, especially in things that they say, and they should be called on it. And as far as beliefs go, especially religious, it’s perfectly reasonable for a man to have doubts and questions about them. It’s another sign of humility and willingness to learn. Without that scrutiny and ability to question his own beliefs as well as the beliefs of those he looks up to, a man will simply turn into the stereotype of the “yes man” who can’t think for himself or formulate his own opinions.

12. There’s no shame in loss or failure

There’s simply no way around this. Losing and failing are simply inevitable in life. And while things like losing that soccer game, not getting that certain job, or getting passed up for that promotion can certainly hurt, there’s no shame in that as long as an honest effort was put in. In fact, loss and failure is, more often than not, necessary. It can certainly hurt to lose, but a man should use the pain of his loss as the first step of improvement. If a man loses a soccer game, that should be a sign to put more work into his practices and drills. If a man gets passed up for a job promotion, he should use that lost opportunity as a stepping stone to improve his work ethic and figure out what he’s doing wrong. In the words of hall of fame soccer player Cobi Jones. “The road to victory… is paved with losses.

13. Your virginity and your loss of it should never define you

It essentially seems like a stereotype at this point that high school boys are practically in competition to see who can either get laid first, or get laid the most. And of course, the guy who hasn’t been able to do the horizontal mambo, either because he doesn’t want to, or  just has trouble with the opposite sex, is mocked and ridiculed by his peers. This sets a dangerous precedent for young men. It teaches them that being a virgin is something that he should be ashamed of. However, being a virgin, at least by choice, is nothing to be ashamed of, and certainly not what a man should stake his reputation on. It shows that he has enough respect for himself and his body to save such a hard decision for the best time, most likely when he’s in a committed relationship or married.

14. Do what’s right, not what feels good, as hard of a decision as it may be

It’s no secret that when given the choice, people will often go with what makes them feel good, even if it might not be the overall best choice in the long run. It might feel good to have that leftover piece of cake instead of an apple for breakfast, but it will most likely not be the best for a man’s health in the long run. A man may find it more satisfying to leave work just a minute or two early and put off whatever he was working on until the next day, even though he can easily finish it that day and just spare a few minutes into overtime to finish it. With that kind of attitude, it can lead him to do mediocre work or just the bare minimum for his job requirement, instead of putting that extra initiative in that could possibly get him that promotion. Of course, there may be those times where the right decision and the decision that feels good may overlap, but those situations are very few and far between.  Most of the time, a man may have to sacrifice what feels good for doing something right.

15. The two words that will take you farther in life than anything else: “Thank you.”

As I’ve said in the past, I believe that gratitude is the greatest quality for a man to have, and I still wholeheartedly stand by that. A man who is grateful for the things he’s been given or has earned, as few as they may be, will be a far happier and more productive person. A man who is grateful to his employer will do everything he can to keep his job. A man who is grateful to his family and friends will undoubtedly create a deeper loving connection with them. A grateful man will be satisfied in what he has earned or has been given, and work even harder to achieve more of it, as opposed to an ungrateful man who believes he’s entitled to certain things for no extra work  or effort because he’s unsatisfied with what he has. Essentially, a man should follow this mantra: gratitude leads to satisfaction, satisfaction leads to happiness. Ingratitude leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to bitterness. “Thank you.” Those two small words will take a man farther in life than he could ever realize.

So there it is! Fifteen rules that very gentleman should teach their sons. Apologies for this article being so long, there’s simply a lot of things that every young gentleman should know. Be sure to comment below any other rules you think might be important, or leave any ideas for any future articles In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!