Be Assertive, don’t be the Bad Guy

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is going to be another expansion on one of my 15 Rules to Teach your Sons (I imagine there will more than a few more of these in the future since I feel like I can get a lot more material out of that list). In any case, this article is going to talk about one of the most effective ways to be a good leader. This will more clearly explain the phrase, “be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy.” This was always something I heard from my dad while I was the Senior Patrol Leader with my Boy Scout troop, and it’s something that’s stuck with me to this day. So today, I’m going to elaborate more on what that phrase means and how to properly apply it to any leadership position any of you reading may hold in your life.

To start, it’s important to understand what this statement really means. But in all honesty, it’s pretty simple; it means exactly what it sounds like. As a leader, it’s important to be assertive and enforce the rules, but it’s equally as important to have those under his tutelage respect and look up to him. Any team, class, or anything else with a leader who can do this effectively can get so much more out of their efforts than one whose leader doesn’t have his comrades respect him. It’s essentially a two-way street. If the team respects the leader, the leader will respect his team. This will lead to a better and more effective performance from the team as whole.

Now that we’ve gone over what the statement actually means, let’s move onto what I’m sure most of you came to see: how to actually employ this statement to your own leadership position. Now, there are quite a few different ways this strategy can be utilized, but I believe the simplest and most effective way to do so is exactly the same way I described it in my 15 Rules article. That is, a leader should clearly outline the rules to his teammates and enforce them, but he should make it clear that he, the leader, is not at all above them. A true leader doesn’t view himself as superior or in any way above the rest of the team, he is simply another member of said team. If a leader simply does nothing but give commands and then sits back while the team does all the work, then he is no longer a leader, he is a dictator. As such, those under his command will soon come to resent him, which results in the exact opposite outcome of what I outlined above. So in short, while it is important to outline and enforce the rules, a true leader is not above said rules and in no way elevates himself above the other members of the team.

So there it is! I hope this gave you a bit more clarity on what I was trying to say in my original 15 Rules list. This was something that has stuck with me and helped me out in numerous situations throughout my life, and I think it will be a huge help to those of you reading this. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Gentleman’s Guide to Card Games

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So when I was growing up, my family loved playing card games, and they still enjoy playing cards to this day. As a result, I learned how to play a handful (no pun intended) of different card games that I thought would be good for any young gentleman to know. So today, I’m  going to go over some of my personal favorite card games and their basic rules so you can play them yourself at a family game night, a night in with the guys, or anything else. So without any further delay, let’s get started!

1. Rummy

This one is a particular favorite among my family. The object of Rummy is to essentially empty your hand before the other players do by placing down 3’s of a Kind or straights involving at least three sequential cards of the same suit on the table. If only two players are playing, each player starts with ten cards. If three or four are playing, every player starts with seven cards, and with five or six players, everyone starts with six cards. After the cards are dealt, the rest of the deck is set face-down on the center of the table and the top card is flipped face-up to start the discard pile, beginning the game. Players starting to the left of the dealer can choose to take the top card off of the deck, take a card out of the discard pile, or put down any melds (3’s of a Kind) or straights they already have. Every player must put a card into the discard pile in order to end their turn. As the game continues, players that have already put down their own melds or straights can then place down cards that continue another player’s set. For example, if one player notices that his opponent has as three 7’s on the table, he can choose to set down the fourth seven if he so chooses. The round ends when the first player “goes out” by setting down his last card without putting a card into the discard pile. Once the round is over, the scores are added up and the game continues for as long as the players please. Now, the rules for different aspects of the game like point values, taking multiple cards from the discard pile, and other things can vary, so it’s important to discuss such things with the dealer before starting the game.

2. BS

This was a particular favorite of mine when I was younger. This is a fun and simple one that can be a good choice for those who don’t have much experience with card games. The object of the game, like Rummy, is to get rid of all of your cards before your opponents. The game begins with the dealer dealing out the cards one at a time until there are no cards left in the deck. Whoever has the Ace of Spades begins the game. How it works is that the player with the Ace of Spades sets it down at the center of the table along with any other Aces they have, and state what they are setting down (so if the player has two aces, they would say “two aces” when they set their cards down). The game continues with the cards increasing in numerical values with Aces representing 1. The catch is, that if a player doesn’t have the specific card they’re supposed set down, they still have to set down cards, but have to lie about what they’re setting down (for example, they would set down a card and say “one five”, but the actual card is anything other than a five). On top of that, any player can call “BS” on another player if they think the last card that was set down is false. If the player who called “BS” is right and the card is indeed false, then the player who set down the last card then picks up all the cards currently in the center of the table. However, if the player who called “BS” is wrong, and the card is actually what the player claims it is, then the player who called it takes all the cards. The game continues around the table until one player runs out of cards.

3. Blackjack

This one is a relatively simple one that can be a decent introduction to the thrills of gambling (in all seriousness, please gamble responsibly. Know your limits and don’t bet any more money than you’re willing to lose). The object of Blackjack is fairly straightforward. Have your hand equal twenty-one or lower while also having a greater value than the dealer’s hand. If your hand is greater than twenty-one, you “bust”, meaning you forfeit your entire bet, a rule which also applies to the dealer. To begin the game, the dealer places to cards in front of him, one face up, the other face down, and then gives two cards to the other player. Once the round begins, the player can choose to either hit or stand (there are other options in higher-stakes games, but those won’t be addressed here). To hit means to request another card from the dealer. The player can hit as many times as they like, but if at any time their hand goes over twenty-one, they bust. If the player chooses to stand, they are satisfied with their hand, and will have no other cards given to them. Once the player chosen to stand, their hand is revealed, as well as the dealer’s face-down card. Whichever player gets the highest value closest to twenty-one without going over wins, and a new round begins. The values of each card break down as follows: Kings, Queens, and Jacks (face cards) are worth ten, Aces can be worth either one or eleven, depending on which will be more advantageous for the player, and numbered cards are worth their number.

4. Poker

Of course, Poker is the quintessential card game that is recognizable all over the world. Now, there are multiple ways to play poker, but the ultimate goal across most of those different forms is to get the highest five-card hand, so for this entry, I’m going to list some of the most popular terms in Poker as well as the hand hierarchy  to understand what you’ll be doing and what to be aiming for when you sit down to start placing bets.

Popular/Universal Terms

  • Call – match the previous bet.
  • Raise – to bet a greater amount than the previous bet; some may call this “upping the ante”.
  • Check – hold off on betting or folding to see what the other players will do. The betting round then ends on the last player who checked.
  • All-in – Putting any chips you have left. into the pot
  • Fold – to forfeit your hand, keeping you from placing any further bets.
  • Pot – total amount of money that has been put on the table.

Hand Hierarchy

Here are the different hands in Poker, listed from best to worst

  • Royal Flush – Ace, King, Queen, Jack, and ten all of the same suit
  • Straight Flush – Any five cards of the same suit in numerical order
  • Four of a Kind – Four cards with the same number
  • Full House – Three cards with the same number and two cards with  the saem number
  • Flush – Any five cards of the same suit
  • Straight – Any five cards in numerical order, regardless of suit
  • Three of a Kind – Three cards with the same number
  • Two Pair – Two cards with with the same number and another two cards with the same number
  • Pair – Two cards with the same number

In the event of a tie, the higher numerical value takes precedence. For example, a pair of two tens will beat two threes.

So there we have it! These are just a few card games you can start incorporating into your game nights or hangouts! Card games can be wonderful way to socialize since they, more often than not, require the participants to interact with each other in way that’s a bit more serious and personal than a lot of other games. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

 

The Importance of Letter-Writing

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First off, apologies for not having an article up on Saturday, I got caught up with a trip to Disneyland with my girlfriend and didn’t have much time to research a topic for today. I still felt guilty about not having an article up though, so I hope you’ll forgive me in putting up this one so late. In any case, let’s get to the rest of the article.

It’s no surprise that email and social media have become so commonplace today that the art of letter-writing is in danger of practically dying, which is a shame. Letter-writing is a much more personal and honest way to talk to someone as opposed to just sending someone a text message or DM on Instagram. So today, I’m going to go over how to write a letter as well as its importance today. So before this article turns into a full-length novel, let’s get started!

For starters, it’s important to understand that most of what I’ll be talking about today is informal letter-writing – that is, writing a letter to someone like an old friend, family member, lover, etc. As such, the rules of writing can be somewhat fluid. The salutation can be the colloquial “Dear [recipient’s first name]”, or it can simply be the recipients name. If it’s a close friend or even a lover, feel free to include any salutation as well as a silly nickname or pet name. The letter can also be formatted in any way you please, but the content is where it counts. Informal letters can be for a variety of purposes; a thank you note, a letter of congratulations, a condolence letter, a love letter, etc. While most of these formats can be very personal, you’ll want to save pouring out your feelings for either a love or condolence letter. If it’s anything else, the you’ll want to keep it colloquial; let the recipient know how things in your life are going, ask how things in their life are going. Even with all the types of informal letter formats I listed above, most of them are just life updates like what we do on Facebook. As for closing your letter, choose whatever you want. It can be “sincerely”, “regards”, “love”, or anything else that comes to mind. Lastly, when it comes to what you want to write your letter on, it can be just about anything. It can simply be a piece of notebook paper or printer paper,  or it can also be a piece of formal stationery, something I would suggest for a love or condolence letter. Now with all of that out of the way, let’s get into why letter-writing is so important.

As I said in the beginning of the article, the rise of the internet and social media has led to electronic communication becoming essentially the norm. While there’s anything inherently wrong with that, there are two very important things that written letters have that said electronic communication doesn’t: human connection and honesty. Since it’s so much easier to be anonymous on the internet, it also makes it a lot harder to actually connect with people you meet online. Even if you’re not directly talking to the letter’s recipient, there’s a level of connection there that isn’t present online. Think about it. It’s your pen that writes the physical letter, your saliva seals the letter, and your hand that puts the letter in the mailbox. Just those three small things allow for much more connection without actually talking to them. Plus, since it obviously takes more time to write a letter than it does to type a text message or Facebook status, the recipient will be much more touched that you took the time to write them that letter.

So there it is! Hopefully this gave you young gents reading a better idea of how and why to write letters more often. If any of you are interested in more details about letter-writing, be sure to check out this piece by the Art of Manliness that gave me inspiration for this one. They go into a bit more detail about formal letter-writing as well as how to address an envelope for those who don’t know. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

What the Wilderness can Teach a Young Gentleman

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! For today’s article, I’m going to draw a lot from my experience as a Boy Scout and attempt to teach you young gents reading this how the great outdoors are a true gentleman’s playground and classroom. So let’s not waste any time and get right into it!

1. Self-Preservation

While I’ve obviously never been in a situation where I’ve had to survive in the wilderness by myself, I’m confident that the skills I’ve learned as an Eagle Scout could help me survive for at least a little bit if the situation called for it. After seven (7) years of going on hikes and campouts with my Boy Scout troop, there are so many valuable skills I learned that I could not have learned elsewhere. Some skills that have stuck with me to this day are things like how to most efficiently pack a backpack, how to properly stack wood for a fire, how to read and orient a map, and how to properly and carefully ration food. And that’s just to name a few of the things I learned. These are skills that not a lot of young men today have, and with the Boy Scouts currently considering bankruptcy, it could be even harder for young men to find a place to learn these skills in a practical way. But even if you aren’t a Scout, it’s always best to abide by the Scout motto, “Be prepared”.

2. Appreciation for Nature

It’s no secret that with the amount of hikes and campouts I’ve been on, I’ve had the opportunity to see quite a few different natural locations, biomes, and ecosystems. Whether it was the vast desert in Death Valley, the mountainous heights of the Sierra Nevadas, or the lush forests of Las Padres, I eventually came to greatly appreciate what Mother Nature had to offer. Moreover, another thing this led to was my intense appreciation for the stars and astronomy. Since so many of the places I went to were devoid of the intense amount of light pollution of the modern world, I’ve been able to see the night sky in all of its wonder and beauty. With so much of modern life being so hectic and energized, being able to sit back and enjoy the beauty, tranquility, and majesty of the natural elements can be a great de-compressor for any young man.

3. Observational Skills

Travelling in the outdoors, it’s a given that you’ll see a lot of different things; trees, plants, animals, animal tracks, landscapes, and the like. And as a result, if you go to the same area often, it can allow to become familiar with the biome and ecosystem. It can help you more easily identify what animals are in the area by finding their tracks, or what types of trees are present by just looking at their leaves. While it can be debated what kind of practicality this has in real life, in my opinion, general knowledge in a variety of subjects is always a good thing for a young man to have.

So there it is! Those are just a few things that a young man can learn in the wilderness. To be honest, there’s probably a lot more that the wilderness has to teach, and if those of you who are reading like this article, maybe I’ll make a part two (2)! In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, donte to our Patreon, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Gentleman’s Guide to the Dinner Date

Evening, gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First of all, I want to sincerely apologize for not having anything up on here or any of our social media for the last few weeks. I just started a new semester at San Francisco State, and I’ve been trying to adjust to my new schedule. But now that I’m settled in, I should be back to my regular posting schedule soon, though the schedule may have to change up a little bit. In any case, today’s article is inspired by The Art of Manliness. There’s an entire section in the Art of Manliness book my godmother gave me that’s all about the best way for you to conduct yourself on a dinner date, so today, I’ll be listing some ways to make that special dinner date all the more special!

Disclaimer: Most of what I’m about to say is almost entirely accredited to The Art of Manliness, and I do not intend to claim credit for any of it. If you’d like to read their original piece about this, you can find it right here.

1. She goes first

The most important thing to remember is something to keep in mind before you even get to the restaurant, and that’s that the woman goes first. She’s the first to get in the car and the first to enter the restaurant, since you’ll be holding the door for her in both situations. She’s the first to take her coat off and sit down at the table since you’ll be helping there as well. She’s also the first to look at the wine list and the first to order her food when the time comes. However, there is an exception to this, and that’s when you’re sharing some dishes that the both of you agreed on. In that case, it’s your job to order for the both of you. She also picks up the first piece of the appetizer and is the first to take a bite of the main course. Men by nature are selfish and impatient. As Mr. McKay puts in his article, “We’re used to fighting for that slice of pizza or the last beer amongst our equally selfish man friends.” But tonight, your date is your top priority, not your food.

2. Slow down

For the most part, men tend to eat faster than women, but here’s the catch: there’s no reason to rush it! Slow down, take smaller bites, don’t shovel the food into your mouth like an animal. How can you expect to hold a conversation with a mouthful of food? Which leads very nicely to our next point.

3. Pay attention to her!

This should just go without saying. You’re going on this date to connect with your date, so how can you expect to have a conversation with her if you’re shoving food in your mouth or keeping your face glued to your phone? She might be quite interesting, which is most likely the reason you’re out on the date in the first place. So if you just take that little extra effort to pay attention to her, you might learn something even more interesting about her!

4. Keep drinks to a minimum

This really only applies to those of you who are twenty-one or over, but nonetheless, it’s still something important to keep in mind. It’s perfectly fine to enjoy a glass of wine or a cocktail during your meal, but you should generally refrain from having any more than two drinks. One of you will have to drive home.

5. In regards to payment…

To put it bluntly, you’re covering everything. The check, the tip, and everything else.

So there it is! Just remember these very simple things, and I’m sure your next dinner date will go swimmingly! While you should still obviously keep in mind general dining etiquette, these things are special things to keep in mind specifically for those special nights out with your special lady. Also, one last apology for not putting up anything for such a long time, we should be back to our regular posting schedule soon. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

How to Speak Like a Gentleman

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! As strange as the subject of today’s article may be, I think it’s an incredibly important thing for young men to know. And when  I say “speak like a gentleman”, I actually don’t mean how to speak more eloquently, though I may get to that in a later article. I literally mean how to give your voice that specific tone and timbre in order to make it sound more mature and, for lack of a better word, “manly.” So without any further delay, let’s get started!

In reality, there’s really only one real tip I can give to improve your gentlemanly voice, but trust me, they will go a long way. This is actually a technique I learned for singing that applies just as well to speaking. This can be a bit difficult to explain, but in short, what you’ll want to do is focus your voice more into your head or hard palate. If you don’t understand me, here’s a good way to test yourself. Plug your nose and try to speak. As silly as that sounds, this is the perfect way to practice this. Pretty much everybody tends to focus their voice into the front of their heads and their nose, and if you were to plug your nose while speaking that way, you’d most likely end up with the stereotypical squeaky, nasally voice that I’m sure we’ve heard before. But if you focus your voice properly, you should be able to speak with your normal voice even with your nose plugged (even though you’ll still get “d” and “b” sounds when trying to pronounce “n” and “m”). And even after you unplug your nose and continue to focus your voice this way, you may notice that your voice is just more full and more resonant. Whether you’re giving a presentation, meeting someone new, or just conversing with friends, it’ll make you sound so much more mature and sophisticated.

So there it is! Follow this one simple tip, and I’m sure you’ll win over a ton of people with your voice. I’ll get to the eloquence and actual words of speech later on in another article, but if there’s anything else you can think of to help improve these young gentlemans’ voices, please leave it in the comments below! In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Gentleman’s Guide to Approaching/Flirting with Women

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! Today’s article is, surprise surprise, inspired by another article by Elena from A Vintage Athenian. In this article, Elena speaks about how the art of flirtation has evolved over the years. She gives some optimal advice for both young men and women to heed when approaching each other in the romantic manner. So today, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring and give you young gents some pointers on how to snag some digits from that certain woman.

1. Approach her in person

I’m sure we’ve all done or seen it before. Someone leaves a flirtatious comment under an attractive woman’s photo online in an attempt to woo her, which more often than not leads to nothing developing unless he then “slides into her DMs” as people say. Technology has no doubt played a huge role in how we interact with people, but it has seriously downplayed the art of flirtation. If you really want to win over a lady, you should approach her in person. Even if nothing develops between the two of you, you’ll still end up developing a better connection than you would just send messages back and forth on Facebook.

2. Be complementary, but not predatory

While the line between those two adjectives seems to be dissolving more and more as time goes on, a real gentleman knows the difference between complimenting a woman and acting like an animal. If you want to compliment a woman without being creepy or predatory, complement on what she’s wearing or how she has her hair done. Saying something like “That dress looks great on you” or “I love how you’ve done your hair” will be much more flattering to a woman than saying you like her breasts or her rear. While those two things can definitely contribute to how attractive a woman is to you, straight up commenting on her body like that can be incredibly demeaning, not to mention it just makes you look and sound like an animal.

Courting

3. Don’t be too pushy

This is probably the most difficult line specifically for men to draw. There are very few things to be admired more than a gentleman with ambition, determination, and persistence. That said, there is a difference between pursuing a woman and being pushy. If you’re pursuing a woman, you strike up a conversation with her and try to get to know her, but you also recognize if she’s not interested, and stop pursuing her then. Being pushy means that you keep trying to have a conversation with her even if she’s already made it clear, whether verbally or not, that she’s not interested. And there is no circumstance in which you should ever chase after her. By that point you’ll just appear to be desperate, and no one, especially a woman would find that attractive.

4. Just be yourself

I know this may sound like just typical bumper sticker advice, but even as cliché as it may sound, it will go a long way. You should obviously be confident whenever you approach a woman, but there is a huge difference between being confident and being fake. If you end up striking a conversation, keep it colloquial, and just talk about things that she might find attractive in you. In my case, I would most likely tell her that I play in a band. It’s simple, colloquial, and a lot of ladies might find that attractive. Just be confident, be yourself, and keep it simple.

So there we have it! I’m obviously not saying that all of these plans are completely foolproof, but I’m willing to bet that any of you gents who practice these things will end up snagging some digits before the end of the night! If there are any tips we may have missed, please let us know in the comments, send us an email at younggentlemansguide@gmail.com, or check out Elena’s article about this subject! In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Gentleman’s Quick Cocktail Guide, Part 2

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So, if you couldn’t guess by the title, today’s article will be a continuation of the first cocktail guide I put up back in January. If you missed it, the link is right here. I thought that article was incredibly fun to make, so I thought I would bring you some more drinks to share with your friends at your next get-together!

Disclaimer: While I will be talking about alcoholic beverages and encouraging my readers to enjoy said beverages, I also encourage them to drink responsibly. I will not be responsible for the consequences of your actions if you overdrink or get behind the wheel while intoxicated. Please be careful and know your limits.

1. Tom Collins

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Ingredients: 2 oz of gin, 1 oz of fresh lemon juice, 1/2 of simple syrup, club soda, garnish with 2 lemon slices

The drink so popular they named the glass after it! Originating in England after being memorialized in the Fortnightly Review magazine in 1891, this drink can be the perfect summer refresher. It’s almost like a more classy and adult variation of lemonade.

2. Mint Julep

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1⁄4 oz of raw sugar syrup, 8 mint leaves, 2 oz of bourbon, garnish with 1 mint sprig

Introduced by U.S. Senator Henry Clay of Kentucky during the eighteenth century, this is a classy drink most commonly associated with the American South and the Kentucky Derby. Pretty much anyone who enjoys classic “minty freshness” will be in for a real treat with this cocktail.

3. White Russian

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2 oz of vodka, 1 oz of kahlúa, heavy cream (or milk depending on your tastes)

Anyone who’s seen the 1998 Coen Brothers film The Big Lebowski knows that this is the beverage of choice for Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski. In fact, it was that movie that brought this drink back into the sunlight, since it was never really that popular since it was introduced in 1965. Nonetheless, this can be an interesting cocktail for those looking for something a little outside the box.

4. Screwdriver

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1 1/2 oz of vodka, orange juice

First appearing in literature as far back as 1938, this cocktail can be a perfect alternative to the mimosa, which I mentioned in the last cocktail guide. Just as refreshing as the mimosa, this beverage can be the perfect choice with your Sunday brunch.

5. Irish Coffee

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Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz of Irish Whiskey, 1 oz brown sugar syrup, hot brewed coffee

While the term “Irish coffee” can refer to most alcoholic coffee drinks colloquially, nowadays the term is most commonly associated with this recipe that most people are familiar with. Travel writer Stanton Delaplane is credited with bringing it to the US after working with the Buena Vista Cafe to start serving it back as early as 1952. Anyone looking for either an accompaniment to their breakfast or a decent nightcap should give this one a try!

So there we have it! Those are just five (5) more cocktails for you gents to try and experiment with. For those who are wonder, most of the recipes I found for this guide came from liquor.com, so if there are any other cocktails you’re interested in looking into, be sure to check them out! In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

How a Gentleman Deals With Emotion

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! Today, I’m going to talk about something I’m sure a lot of young men would not be the most comfortable talking about: our emotions. This can be a bit of a touchy subject for anyone, especially young men. Not only that, but it’s practically become a joke at this point that the only emotion traditional young men are allowed to experience and/or display is anger while keeping all the rest of his emotions completely suppressed. But I’m here today to tell you this: that assertion of how a man should act is completely ridiculous and untrue. Emotions run deep within any rational human being, and young men are no exception. It is perfectly acceptable for a young gentleman to feel and display emotions, but there are a select number of ways that he should deal with them. So today, I’m going to talk about the proper way a young gentleman should deal with his emotions. Let’s get started!

For starters, it’s important to remember that experiencing any kind of emotion is perfectly reasonable and acceptable. Happiness, sadness, fear, anger, and all the rest are all natural emotions that have helped humans survive and evolve for millenia. There is no shame in feeling any sort of emotion, but what’s important for a gentleman to know is that he shouldn’t let that emotion get the better of him. What I mean by that is that even if a gentleman happens to feel an emotion at a certain moment, he shouldn’t let that emotion overtake him. Obviously, emotion can be a huge spark for making all sorts of decisions, especially split-second decisions or having to act on instinct. However, if history has shown us anything, it’s that making immediate decisions based solely on emotion has more often than not ended in disaster. While there is no shame in experiencing emotion in any way, it shouldn’t be the sole motivator for a gentleman’s actions. But there is something else about emotion that young men should keep in mind: how to display emotion.

Like I’ve been saying, emotions run deep within the human race. They’ve helped humans survive and evolve for thousands of years, and still do to this day. That being said, it can become quite a problem when a gentleman just lets his emotions run wild. In general, young men should try to be relatively calm and composed, even when faced with situations that stir up their emotions (I’ll mostly be talking about fear, anger, and sadness here). It’s like the example you would hear all the time in grade school: true bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the courage to work through it. When faced with a situation where he’s afraid, a gentleman will continue to push through it, even if the situation makes him uncomfortable. Similarly, a gentleman won’t lash out and shout at people if he’s angry. There might be a certain situation or something someone said to him that makes him angry, but he wouldn’t show that in public. A gentleman should vent his anger in private to someone he trusts, or he should do something like hit a punching bag or play a video game (which is usually how I let out my anger). Also, a gentleman will let the sadness of something like a hard breakup or loss of a family member affect him to the point of not performing as well in school or work. A true gentleman will take time to mourn (more so after a loss of a family member), and maybe take time off of work or school in order to mourn. Your teacher, boss, peers, and colleagues will understand if you have to that. He doesn’t let his emotions affect his performance at school and/or work. He also doesn’t let them affect how he lives his day-to-day life.

Before I wrap up, I want to say once again that none of this is to imply that a gentleman can’t feel emotions at all. I’m just trying to say that there is an appropriate time and place to vent and display those emotions. Letting out your emotions through physical activity, playing video games, venting to a family member or someone else you trust, or even through art (something I go into a bit more right here) can be a great way for young gents to balance themselves out. Emotions are important and they run very deep in the human race. There is no shame in feeling or displaying emotion, there is just an appropriate time for both men and women to do so. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

The Gentleman’s Guide to the 4th of July

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So, today’s article will really only apply if those of you reading live in the United States, (and I’ve been seeing a lot more readers from outside the U.S. lately) but today I wanted to give you not necessarily a guide like the title may suggest, but just ways that I’ve celebrated America’s Independence day in years past in the hopes that I can give you readers some inspiration in case you need to find something to do (except I won’t be including things like parades or fireworks shows, since those are both essentially a given). So without any further delay, let’s get started!

1. A barbecue

bbq

It’s no secret that one of the cornerstones of American culture is the typical barbecue, whether it be at a park, a picnic area, or even your backyard. So it’s also no surprise that one of the best ways to celebrate the 4th is such a barbecue. Get together with some friends and family, grill some burgers and hot dogs, have some corn on the cob, and maybe have a beer or a patriotic cocktail (thanks to liquor.com for that inspiration)! This is just the perfect carefree way to celebrate the America’s independence, not to mention the most delicious!

2. Family get-together

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This may or may not go hand-in-hand with the aforementioned barbecue, but it’s still a great way to celebrate the holiday. This is a tradition we hold dear in my family. We always get together at my grandparents’ vacation house in the small town of Independence, California to celebrate with everyone (except we can’t do it this year since so many people are so busy). But in any case, getting to spend Independence with friends and family is sure to make the celebration that much more jovial and exciting!

3. Listening to American music

jazz

Obviously one of the biggest cornerstones of the culture of any nation is its music, and the United States is no different. In my opinion, the best way to show appreciation for our country and its independence is listening to classic American music. And I’m not talking about typical American pop like Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA, I mean songs and artists that truly represent America and its freedom. Things like Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run, the Glenn Miller Orchestra’s In the Mood, Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue. For those of you who are interested, I actually have a 4th of July playlist on Spotify that would be great for your 4th of July celebrations!

4. Honoring your American Heroes

Glenn Miller Post
Glenn Miller, one of my personal American heroes

This one might sound a little strange, but bear with me. Last year on 4th of July, I decided to put up a post on my personal Instagram showcasing a collection of people who are my personal American heroes. I believe that doing something like this shows a much better appreciation for America, its freedom, and its people. If any of you reading this decide to do something like this, please be sure to let me know, I would be very happy to see a post like that spread!

So there we have it! Those are just some of the ways I’ve celebrated Independence Day in the past, and I’m hoping this at least gave you an inspiration for something you might want to do to add to the celebration of America’s independence. I hope you all have a very happy and safe Independence Day, stay safe, drink responsibly, and be very careful with fireworks! I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and God bless America!